Day 30: A letter to yourself.

I have waited to do this because I wasn't sure what I had to say to myself.  I spend way too much time in my head, so what could I say that I don't already......


Dear, Ashe,


         Always try and remember the good stuff over the bad. I know it is hard but don't change who you are.  no matter how bad it hurts sometimes, helping others feel better out weighs most things.  Fallow you feeling, it has always helped you before.  Keep the people you love and care for close.  Remember the dark place you have been to and keep the darkness inside you at bay.  Never forget anything, this is why you made mistakes before.
Try not to let people get to you, there nothing you can change about them.

~Ashlynne Szverra~ 

Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

I have changed a lot over the past 23 years. There is a lot we can do in this world, so who knows if I will change.  I don't know if I want to...,lol  I change as times change, not sure if that's a good thing or not xD

Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

I would have a freak out moment, lol. But I really don't have to worry about that............

Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?

My friendship with Jeni, I wouldn't trade it for the world.  Things are pretty good for me right now, there is nothing I can complain about. ^_^

Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Yes, I have a few times.... When I was younger the thought of giving up was a big thing on my mind.  I have always pushed myself to see how far I could really go and learned  a lot from it.  I ran a razor blade over my arm at the highlight of my downward spiral starting from when I was nine years old.  I couldn't do it.  I don't have a self destruct jean in me I guess.  I asked my mom how many Advil I would have to take to OD. This was after the razor blade. She thought i was going to kill myself and I was put on watch and put in Archway a youth correction place.  I never said anything about the razor blade, I just said I wasn't going to kill myself, just wondering.  I couldn't say anything about the razor.....

Death is the easy, Life is what's hard...........

Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

My Mommy, and even if i'm afraid I move forward.  Only looking back to remember.  I think things through, then acting when most beneficial. 

Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.

1.  Drunken Butterfly, By Sonic Youth  I'm Jenis drunken butterfly. Well at least I was.  lol

2.  Disturbia, By Rihanna  This is the only song I really remember from my 10 day drinking spree.  Kinda weird but really describes the drinking.

3.  Circus, By Britney Spears  "All eyes on me, in the center of the ring, just like a circus"

4.  Raise Your Glass, P!NK  This song always makes me smile, be yourself and pary!

5.  One Step at a Time, Jordan Sparks  I Just really like this song. ^_^

6.  Coin Operated Boy, By The Dresden Dolls  Just a fun song, lol

7.  All for You, Janet Jackson This song made my step-dad crazy

8.  The Spice Girls, Wannabe An other song to make him crazy, your 9 year old singing "If you wannabe my lover, you gotta get with my friends.........." haahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are a few more but I can't remember what they are, lol  So this playlist is about me. <3